I’m thankful tumblr seems to be working again, because I’ve always liked having a blog to write and express creativity. I’ve been through a lot emotionally, enough to know that I’m definitely not the person I used to be, but I’m still in the process of figuring out what is and isn’t right for me. I know that I need to work on being assertive, and definitely do more things that are outside the zone of comfort for me, but I’m going through a period of super heightened empathy and emotions that overwhelm me. I definitely didn’t ask to have all of this happen, but it’s made me a better me, and since this ‘awakening’, my mind and life can’t go back to how it used to be. I’m just trying to do the best I can really..

Not all love stories end badly and love doesn’t have to be tragic just because you’ve had relationships that ended badly. The start of a life story can simply be realizing that you deserve to be happy, and not repeating patterns with new partners that are toxic to your well being. Love isn’t a fairy tale and you can’t expect perfection from a partner, for them to always act how you want them too, or for another person to always know what you want and need. We’re all a bit imperfect and messy. We all have flaws, bad days, bad moods, and we all struggle with things. Don’t dismiss or make someone feel unworthy because they make mistakes and have negative feelings. No two people in any relationship are always going to see eye to eye, agree, or never argue about anything, but two imperfect people can compromise and the love they have for each other can be stronger than pride. There might not be such a thing as a perfect partner or fairy tale fantasy, but with the right person and real feelings, your reality can be happy and full of happiness and beautiful moments that make every day feel like your living a dream. It’s okay to struggle, and maybe your first step is believing that you can choose to be happy, and that you deserve to be. It’s having enough self respect and sense of self to not settle for being treated any less than you deserve to be, or going back to old relationships where you may have been treated badly just because it’s what you’re used too or they offer a sense of familiarity. I too, am learning these things, and that maybe a love story with a happy ending starts with believing you’re worthy.

Don’t apologize for not living perfectly. Everyone has made mistakes, but you can always choose to be better than you used to be. Don’t hold onto old hurts, grudges or bitter feelings. It doesn’t just hurt them, but keeps you stuck living in negativity. No matter what’s happened, you can still move forwards with hope and positivity. Ego is the part of you that wants to compete, be superior to others and have power/control over everything, and the cure to that is an open mind willing to listen with empathy and understanding. Familiarity is comfortable, but it can also hold you back and keep you from progressing. Relationships that ended in the past most likely ended for a reason, and while it’s okay to be nostalgic to old feelings, don’t let yourself drown in sadness over relationships and feelings that don’t exist presently. An open mind doesn’t mean taking on other people’s feelings or accepting everything they say/their opinions, as part of your reality. You’re allowed to think differently, or to disagree with somebody, and you don’t have to be passive by letting others make you feel obligated, hopeless, guilty or unworthy. Empathy is a powerful thing, but it’s not yours, mine, or anyone’s responsibility to take on another person’s feelings. Everything is about balance. People can make mistakes and still be good people, life isn’t all black and white, and when someone has done things wrong, don’t forget all of the things they did right. Anyone can change if they’re willing, and most change happens gradually. It happens when people decide they’ve had enough of toxic patterns, relationships, and situations consisting of the same things that always end badly. You can be firm, assertive and protect your feelings without becoming heartless and unfeeling. It’s not always easy, but often a matter of listening to both your heart and your head instead of exploding emotionally. Life isn’t a competition or a contest in popularity. Everyone struggles, and there’s a lot more to most people than what you see. We’re all simply human beings with a desire to be happy, and it’s not about being better or above anybody. It’s about being true to who you are, happy, and living free. Don’t put pressure on others to live up to what you expect them to be, and don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect or please everybody. - Things I’ve Learned

People feel and deal with emotions differently. Some react to their feelings impulsively, some internalize everything with a poker face expression, and others are good at managing them until they lose patience or release built up emotions they’ve been suppressing.

Some people just want to be alone when they’re feeling negative, and others want support and comforting.

As for myself? I’m in between and I apologize ahead of time if I’m hard to understand or drive you crazy. Sometimes when I’m stressed and overwhelmed, I disengage completely, and especially if I’m feeling down, hurt or angry, I like to be alone to deal with those things. I’m a private person, but I’ll let my guard down and seek comfort from you if we’re close and I know I can trust you.

I don’t know if it’s a pride or self protection thing, but it’s hard for me to admit that I’m stressed and need somebody. I’m afraid of being open and getting used to someone being there for me, in case they leave and this is all so hard for me lol :/